anyone to do it for me? please. most welcomed.
I held Mom’s old hands tight as if I wanted the blood rushing through her capillaries to stop flowing. Adrenaline rushed in my veins. My heartbeat was unbelievably fast. I gasped for oxygen to breathe.
‘’Mom…. Th..they…will hurt me…lik..like yesterday..’’ I spoke of terrifying my Mom’s temper attitude.
I was ignored. Mom walked faster. She hurried us to Uncle Keith’s house. We could hear his hoarse voice calling for my Mom. I was dragged all the way on the slippery pathway 3 blocks away from our house. That was the second time Mom had ever brought me here. Yesterday, I went home 5 am in the morning. After being in a dark room in Uncle Keith’s house with a guy called Claude. We played chase and catch and hide and seek. But Claude played roughly until I got blood stained on my white lacey skirt. I was in a great pain last night. My six year old heart could not describe the pain on my bruised body. When I asked Mom, how to lessen my sickness, she just hummed and left me to sleep. I was not asked to bath and shower my sticky body. I was extremely uncomfortable. Not to wake Mom up, i tiptoed to the freezing bathroom floor and washed myself silently. Yes, it hurts me even more after I showered but after a while I felt fresher of myself. Fresher with the pain.
We reached Uncle Keith’s house not long after hearing the voice. He was standing in front of the gate while his eyes were glaring like a hungry tiger towards my Mom. Signing how late we were. Mom pull my gripped fingers from her hand. Uncle Keith threw Mom a stash of cash. Then, she pushed me towards Claude who just came out of the house. Claude took me in his muscular arms and carried me away.
‘’No! Mom! Mom! He played hard, Mom! Mommy!’’
‘’MOM!’’ I screamed. Waking up my sleeping husband, Harry beside me. He hugged me and whispered, ‘’shh, im here. You’re fine..shh.’’ my gasping breath turned to a sigh. i looked up in the ceiling and thank lord that it was only a nightmare of mine. A nightmare that had struck my sleep for the third time this week.
Harry was the only one who knew about my dark past, that I was sold to Claude after he had satisfied with the first trial. I escaped from Claude’s hell when I was 10. And came to live with Martha, Harry’s grandmother whom I found on the roadside, looking for a fallen coin. I was all in dirt when we met. She took care of me until I was married to Harry last three years. He was my heart and my soul.
One fine day, I was attending a therapy session with Dr Dempsey. I received a phone call from Harry. He could not attend today’s session. So, I went on and on with dearest dr Dempsey. He was an extremely charming person and unmarried. I could have fallen for him if I was still available. I sat on a single seated leather couch comfortably. He sat in front of me. We had the usual conversation. This man taught me how to be a person that was free from the nightmare of the past. I was improving day by day. At the end of the session, dr Dempsey held my hand and give me some wisdom words. And he said, ‘’trust no one in life, rosie. Until you trust yourself.’’ I held that words.
Harry came back late that night. Drunk. My temper rose. But not too extremely that I couldnt control. I love Harry so much. I led him to shower and bed without asking questions. My mind was crowded with intensity of query. I wanted to know this so badly. Had Harry gone to his bad habit again? An alcoholic? No! I stopped myself from thinking negatively. But, today had became a routine for Harry and sadly, for me. He left me after 2 months of my pregnancy. He was unfound.
Months passed, one morning, someone knocked my door as the sun rose, I opened the door and found an old lady carrying a basket of cookie jar. Freshly baked ones. The scent of it was so familiar. And lovingly missed. I looked up to her eyes to see who was standing in front of me. My body shook. I was trembling between my own feet. A pool of tear clouded my eyesight. I recognized this woman.
‘’Mom..” I uttered.
“Rose. May I come in?” she said calmly. As if nothing happened.
“ No….” I was not looking into her maple eyes.
I closed the door. Leaned against the door. Closed my eyes tight. Trying to recall what had happened. I met my long lost mother. The one I missed, but I feared. I fear that she would harm me again. But, I would like to hug her. Kiss her wrinkled cheeks and let her touch my expanding tummy. Her first grandson whose growing inside me. Tell her how much I missed her. But I was too afraid. And I needed Harry now.
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