i mean, i know whats going on in her life, recently,
selepas dia keluar from my eyesight.
dulu2 dia sangat teruk, u know. tak lah teruk berbanding sekarang.
<judgementalnye aku ni.>
tapi, sejak dia satu rehab dengan aku, dia makin okay, she admitted this herself.
iyalah, semua orang tahu diri masing masing, kan?
perubahan, itu yang aku nampak. dia sedar akan perubahan itu.
dan, hidayah. dia kejar hidayah allah tu.
PMR proved to me how she was such a good girl. i have fallen for that girl.
i praised lord for her goodness.i praised lord that she had found her way, perhaps as much as i have found mine.
aku boleh mengaku kat sini. aku dulu tak baik pon. this rehab buat aku SEDAR, terbuka mata.
alhamdulillah. i stand as who i am now, with faith in god.
so, there she was, takdir allah, the year 2010, we became close.
stay up same same. i help u, u help me. i see all the good things, sweetie.
and i have fallen once more for you. this friendship we built.
ada 2-3 makhluk allah yang tak nampak ni semua dari kau, kaan?
mereka mengeluarkan kata kata nista untuk perburukkan kau. kau stress dengan kesinisan orang2 alim ni, aku tahu. kadang kadang aku tak faham kenapa mereka yang alim ini, sinis sangat bahasanya.
atau, kita yang bersalah ni yang terasa lebih, entah la.
kawan aku ni, terkeluar drpd rehab ini. at first, aku yakin, ini jalan yang allah sediakan untuk kau jadi lebih baik, N. aku yang galakkan engkau untuk keluar. sebab pandangan orang dah buruk. kau takkan dapat terima whatever would happen next. kau pun memang nak keluar, kan. i supported you honey.
months passed until a year. almost every weekend we spent time on the phone. u tell me stories of ur life mostly because apa sahaja yang berlaku kat sini sama. you would know. hati aku rebah tengok gambar2 kau. alasan yang kau bagi untuk semua tu, ''that was my 1ST time wearing those, thise and that'',
sikit2 lama2 jadi bukit. alah bisa tegal biasa.
i know your heart misses the times kita spent kat surau raudhatulmuttaqin.
hati mana tak rindu kekasihnya?
u are feeding ur lust, thats for sure.
i am sad to see those pictures, those feelings of happy making sins.
this is because i loved you. always will.
its not that, i dont make sins. im a normal people who always learn from mistakes, sins.
and its not like you never got THAT education of being a muslim.
where's the respect to yourself that we were being taught of in 2007?
lost.
i know im not that FUN, exhilarating and ALL OUT. i am who i am. just note that, i will always be there when you needed me. there's a few words i would like to give you.
seandainya sahabat itu menyesatkan kamu, maka tinggalkanlah dia.
 |
| this suits you better, sweet :) |
i missed you and i loved you. or whatever is left from you.
ingatlah balik apa yang kita belajar kat rehab dulu, N.
i believe you will find your way back if you ever wanted to,sayang.
im happy to see you being extremely happy, its just not this way.
Allah despise this. how can we reach Jannah together?
duniya is not forever. aku tak hidup lama kat dunia ni.
menyinggah saja.
p/s: mengata dulang paku serpih,
mengata orang aku yang lebih.
pffft.
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