when i dont fuel my car, occasionally it will burn out.

so this is how people have been doing it. 

i hate it because i always wanted to be consitent in this.

and tried to be my best version.

but it doesnt pay off.

the trust i gave,

the things we been through.

i was being understanding, i

but it was only tolerance because i accept my foolishness 

of not being able to understand.

and you know how tolerance go.

it occasionally will burn out

if you take it lightly

and there will be people who cared enough to fuel it again.

i cannot teach, i am not a teacher.

but this feelings i am having, 

they are taking so much of me.

worriness, love, pain, longings, hurt

things im not familiar to care with

when you said, 

"can we take a break?" i know you were not questioning. 

it wasnt a choice for me.

and it never gets better.

i dont know how to get better.

i tried patience

i tried laughing

i tried reasonings

i tried pulling tides

and pushing you

i tried kindness

i tried using space, giving space.

but you always needed more.

the one thing i havent tried is

to let go.

its risky but only i can save me 

i know you tried too.

but you did better

this fear you have surrounding you

and the unwillingness to share it with me

its frightens me

how we change and you not see.

how can i mingle

when i am not needed?

i truly do not know how

how can i stay 

when my questions are left unanswered?

i want to be apart of your life

anywhere you are

but if i can only be in one part of it

its heartbreaking

oh! all this same old talks, you know better.

i love me 

and i love you.

but i am burnt out.