i dont believe you

No I don't believe you

When you say don't come around here no more

I won't remind you

You said we wouldn't be apart

No, I don't believe you

When you say you don't need me anymore

So don't pretend

To not love me at all

I don't mind it

I still don't mind at all

It's like one of those bad dreams when you can't wake up

Looks like you've given up, you've had enough

But I want more no I won't stop

'cause I just know you'll come around... right?

performed by pink.

Reset Button

Assalamualaikum.

so, how's life? 

That is an absolute question we should ask ourselves once in a while. like go somewhere peaceful, look forward, straight posture, open up your navy blue eyes wide and ask, how's life? ( if you dont have any navy blue eyes, then dont do it) then, see if it gets better.. 

Everyone has a reset button but unfortunately, it is not in the hands of you to push it. it is not in your control. its in God's. He chooses when to push your life reset button. you see, changes are not easy. to change for the better especially is not easy. to accept the changes itself is hell whats more to bear them. speaks out of experience and not theoretically. 

the people who knew me before my reset button is pressed knew me differently. my life in the past, it was filled with carelessness, it was only life of a typical girl living in a dream. literally. When my family had a terrible accident, all of those dreams; it was gone (im glad that its gone) the careless girl couldnt be careless anymore and she cant dream the same. I had healthy parents, who walks proudly, energetically and vibrantly living the life as it came by. Alhamdulillah now they are healthy too. but they dont look the same. Changes, you see. My life was reset. Our life were. and trust Allah when he said, He's not testing you beyond what you can bear. That faith saved us millions of time.

so, take good care of your faith for when your reset button is pressed, you know there's something which never leaves you. 

so, how's life?

Unlike before

It was before these days that i am brave and solid on spreading islamic news and reminders.
It was before these days that i am strong enough to say, no this is wrong because Allah forbids it.
It was all i am that before.
The more i learn about myself, the more that i become afraid to spread those great reminders and words.
The more i sin, the more silent i have become. I am too tiny to say Allah forbid this, you cant do this.
Too tiny because i know how low i am in His eyes. There are a lot of other people who contradicts me. Who can say Allah forbids that, its wrong.

Humbly i tell you, its not that i do not want to be who i used to be. Honestly, because i look up at everyone around me to be better than me. And yes, they are way better. They recite the al quran better, they know better. But, why is that they do things they shouldnt?
Some would say i belittle myself too much. But i am not.. maybe.

I cant leave badar because before this, when i was strong and solid i had badar as a base. I am hoping to make me strong again.

Posted via Blogaway

The Perks of Haters' Existence

There are haters all around the world who hates things. I hate some things, and some ones. On top of those, I hate what haters do to display their filthy hatred. (Why even do such things?!)

Not only do they portray their hatred towards another party, what they do is actually creating assumptions (which what even an average person always do) and bad perceptions towards the party that they hated without knowing the reality of it.

The negative energy they bring is almost overwhelming and nauseating. As a person who loves a positive surrounding all around, I am afraid that these haters would someday influence my friends, families or even my kids to be.

I have a friend who throw words like 'bodoh' when talking about a person we dont even know based on a silly comment on instagram. 
Not good, tho.

I love socializing in the network but its not something i would take into account to trust or agree on blindly. This is the network, which is filled with satans and angels. How do we know if what we read, watch or hear from the network can be worthy of our lives?
Thats when our thinking takes part.

Accepting blindly is not an option. Theres a lot to consider from the net, from the people especially from these garbage of haters.
What comes from our mouth displays us, careful not to spell out words that would tarnish our reputation.
Be sensitive.

Tak semua longkang ada mulut. Mulut kau ada? 😂

Posted via Blogaway

Hati orang

Kita tak tahu hati orang. Kita dapat lihat apa dia buat, dengar apa dia kata dan jatuh sayang lepas kita suka. Tapi kita tak tahu hati orang.

Dan mungkin juga kita benci bersebab atau tidak. Tak mustahil walau dengan benci kita meratap bila dia mati. 

Aku ni manusia yang sepaling hebat buruk dan baiknya. Ada masa aku baik, tapi kebanyakan masa siapa tahu aku buat apa. 

Hati orang tu sedih, tapi tak siapa nampak. Dia hilang anak dia, laki dia sekelip mata. Serious sekelip mata. Bila dia sedar, seluruh hidup yang dia baru siap bina runtuh. Macam tu je.  

Dia ni kuat. Ni lah the perks of being the strong-willed. Menangis ke demam ke orang tak nampak. Naknak pulak tanned macam aku. Memang tak nampok kak oi.

Aku jumpa memo, tulisan tak sekata dan makin lama makin tak terbaca. Penulis memo ni mungkin menangis sambil tulis ke apa.. yang akhir tu macam ni bunyi dia

Dicucuri rahmat. Sayang papa dan baby girl selamanya. 

Lebih kurang.... Mungkin orang ingat dia bakal melupakan segalanya. Mungkin orang ingat dia bakal pergi dan pisahkan kami dengan anak dia. 

Tapi hati orang. Kita tak tahu...

Posted via Blogaway

MEN OF STEEL

I never intended to make silly grammar or typing error by making the title MEN instead of MAN of steel. 

There is one sole reason why i decided to avoid watching Man of Steel since it's premieres in Malaysia. 

That is simply because I do not believe in Henry Cavill to bring out the Superman I'd hope to be. 

The good looking Superman. Seriously, I thought the Henry Cavill would spoil that with his dark curly almost braided hair. 

Two-hours ago, I broke this decision. I watched the movie. Intensified and guilty with what I was doing, I was amazed. All this while, I thought the movie sells because of the name, and history. I was wrong entirely. Henry Cavill in this movie is so far one of the most beautiful man I have ever seen. 

But there is always something more than just looks. Cavill delivered well.  

Kal-El was the only natural born son of Krypton. The only one, He was the key towards his own mankind but he chose what was good for the mankind he had become. He chose to save the responsibility which was left to him by history. He chose to be a Superman. Kal-El, was a history made fiction who figured out his mission from history. To ensure that Earth does not end up like Krypton. But he waited for himself, and Earth to be ready for him. He waited and took a leap of faith when his steel is ready.

History does matters. We came from History. I am a malay, living in Malaysia and on top of all a Moslem from history. Human being running around in my world trying to figure out why they are living because they forget how important history is.

I should wait too, right?

I know why I live now. I mean I knew it all along but I never had realized it should be this important. (Not from Henry Cavill oh please!)

I thought I am just ordinary. I thought everyone is ordinary.

But we are not. Everyone has their own steel that is made for a purpose. 

I have always wondered, How can it be that we all are made differently with no purpose? Isn't that just a plain stupidity? God is God. The Almighty and all the compliments are for Him. How can we be made purposeless? 

LISTEN TO ME, WE ARE NOT JUST ORDINARY.  

I am neither ordinary nor Superman. 

We are the Men of Steel, and our purpose is islam.

If this is too hard for you to understand or you think this is just some plain Islamic blog entry which is made by a wannabe famous somewhat... i would suggest for you to look back. Turn the pages in your history book. Stare at your muslim name, find it's meaning. Think as far as you could but remember that the closest thing to you shall be death and there will be life after death. 

Find your steel, or as for me I earn one and nurturing one and one day my steel will unite with all you Muslim back to our golden age.

Wallahua'lam.

A despicable design

this world is designed to break your heart.

There will be souls who is made to be yours. whether they are your blood, or your water; they will be yours at your worst stake. I have a mother who was loved by everyone, figuratively and literally. She was loved.

when she had her perfect health. So did my father. So did my gone brother. they were all loved and cherished. And their existence were embraced by everyone who met their eyes on them. They were loved by so many countless persons who claimed themselves families, relatives, friends or even daughters of different origins. But that countless bits, turned to barely can even be accounted to be with these three beloved people of mine at their worst stake. Be there blood nor water; no relations in the world could ever proceed themselves to be at service of good deed when we needed them to.

This design of a human being is my utmost fear. My worst pain and nightmare whatever i should call them; it is not a good word for any noble mouth to bear. I never thought of forgetting any good deeds a person would have given me. If I am at the very capability to repay any, I promise I would. The design of people in which forgets is one upsetting design.

The design who forgets that we do not live in this world for this world. The design which forgets why we are even living here in this world. To please who? Oh please, I do not beg for you to be fine and act nice to my mother, father nor my late brother's honor. They are just human beings who bound to make every mistake they can here. But, I do beg you to be as honest and as sincere to every soul you do good deeds with. Do it heartfully for your God whom your servitude is compulsory. Because we, are in our shortest way to come back to Him.

What differentiates my three beloved people in the past and present days are their health. And of course my brother had already returned to where we all are belonged to. Both my parents were tough guards, who would sacrifice anything to give help sincerely to any living souls who asked them. Who keeps their children in the perfection we need. Now, they are not anymore capable of running around helping people. Their pace has become slow but arising steadily. Allah knows what we had gone through. Alhamdulillah, my late brother; people spoke nice of him. He was the best among us the siblings and yes, people will start listening when you're dead.

At our worst stake, my dead brother would be there for us. Now that he's gone, God showed us most people who is well designed to crush and torn us apart. Parasites. At our worst stake, we were left by just us. This is a world to be grateful for, trust me no sarcasm in this. You will be surprised how close you were and how actually you are in distance with someone. 

When you have less to offer the world, the world leaves you.

These people may have cooked your everyday meals, braided your hair, praised you day and night, let you play with their child and bonded with them like your own blood. One fine day, under any circumstances they will be just gone. All you have left are memories and distances you never knew was there all along.

And do not expect people who are designed this way are the least in the world. Around you, they will be plenty, outruns the number of days you have lived even. Do not expect these people to come back to you without the same reason they had before. Do not expect they would see how you are in pain when they choose to leave you. Lastly, do not expect that this design is not in you. Nauzubillah.

I just hate to see my people got hurt by this design. My beautiful family do not need these kinds of people coming in, act nice and gone in a split of a second. My parents had enough to bear, these additions of bad designs cannot be here anymore. Not in a time that I am not there with them. They have had enough.

So, dear Allah who I turn to in my happiness, and sadness. Make these design go away in a blink of our eyes. Keep us and only us to hurt to teach, and to love unconditionally of our blood. Spare our parents Your great compassion and make us strong by the most tender lessons. Grant their prayers your mercy and generosity. Protect them at all times. Make their hearts think of only to please You and by it make them happy in this Dunia and Aakhirah.

Amin.